Your child joins the army of age-makers - it’s time to get acquainted with the rules of the game on the playground.
The playground is a play area for children, not a rest room for adults. Do not even hope - read, eat, chat on the phone, you are unlikely to succeed, unless of course your child is not clearly marked phlegmatic. In addition to the first small victories, parents need to prepare for unpleasant surprises, which, however, can be avoided.
Lesson 1. I walk with my daughter, a little girl runs alongside. Suddenly, she runs to the swings that are very swung. She stands next to them, and I pound her under the swing with a bang on the pope - otherwise the child would have been hit right on the head. Having avoided the tragedy, I scold the children who swung the swing badly. For six-year-old children, the mother stands up with a cry. What do you scream at my children, themselves look for your child. So, for the first time in my life, I got for someone else's girl. After explanations in calmer tones the conflict was settled, I apologized. Because she was the rights. All conflicts, controversial situations need to be addressed not with children, but with their parents.
Interestingly, the mother of the girl did not even notice what happened, she was engaged in her two other children. The words "thank you", I have not heard from her. But it was she who was supposed to look after her child.
In addition to the swing, the greatest danger comes from the playground from the carousel and slides. Do not be lazy, check all the swings on yourself. Better you fall from them than your baby. Wooden steps - they can rot and break just under your child. Bother to check the contents of the sandbox - it may be broken glass, syringes and other dangerous rubbish. If everything on the playground suspiciously glitters and shines with cleanliness, most likely the inventory has recently been painted. Which at best entails a great wash.
Lesson 2. We sit in the sandbox. In addition to us, a little girl is digging in the sand, whose grandmother is chatting enthusiastically with a friend on a bench. I see a broken bottle in the hands of the girl. With a quick movement, I grab the "bjaku" from her hands. Of course, the baby was frightened and cried for a long time, but she didn’t hurt herself. As they say, of the two evils they chose the lesser. My grandmother even caught her breath when she saw this "rosette" and imagined what could have happened. It seems that the grandmother brought not a granddaughter for a walk, but herself. All attention should be focused only on the child, everything else is secondary.
The playground is deceptive for its carelessness. One has only to relax and talk - as the baby is in trouble. Even if the baby has climbed a hundred thousand times - stand nearby, insurance is always needed. Bypass the moving carousel and swing at a decent distance. You should not relax if the whole family went for a walk with the child. Often, incidents happen during photo and video shooting - oh, look how our boy climbed high. And who will support the boy? Yeah, Sklifosovsky. Yes, at home everyone will see "the fall of a meteorite on planet Earth." The more carefully you follow the child, the better. Remember, with children a lot of attention does not happen.
Be prepared for the fact that your toys, like the contents of your vehicle (whether it be a stroller or a bicycle), may interest children. Do not leave in sight bottles, open packs of juice and napkins. Do not bring expensive toys to the site. Only you know how much this machine or doll is worth. For children, this is a toy with which you can play. And accidentally break.
You can often see such a picture - a grandmother comes with her granddaughter and a baby carriage. The granddaughter does not play with the stroller, but the toy is interesting for the other children, but the grandmother asks the children not to touch the stroller. What can I say, yes, it is an alien stroller, but it is so tempting, and no one plays with it.
The second common situation - the father comes for a walk with the child. As he leaves, he unsuccessfully plays the game “find our good”, but so that he remembers where his son’s toys are and where others are. Of course, a one and a half year old child cannot help his father, and toys are often the same. Dad takes the standard kit - a bucket, a scoop, a rake, something that, in his opinion, belongs to his son. Mom will come, she will figure out where whose. In principle, it's okay if you always go to the same platform and communicate with the same children. In the morning, mother will return everything to her place. In extreme cases, someone will have to buy a new scoop, which is probably not difficult. But there is one "but." Father put others in an awkward position. After all, we want to teach children to take care of what we have.
In such a situation, the best way is to mark molds, paddles, for example, write the letter "C" with varnish - immediately clear, Sasha's toys. In addition, if you go with the child for a short time, you can not take toys. As a rule, there are much more toys in the sandbox than children. It is assumed that you can play everything and everything that lies there.
The classic picture is that a child comes with kilograms of his toys, but on the playground completely ignores them, preferring to play strangers. This is where the Kulikovsk battles begin. The opposing sides will seek to the last. Usually, the arguments of the parties are fixed by striking the spatula over the head, sanding it, less often with tweaks and bites.
If the situation turns into an open conflict, the parents intervene. “Masha, give the bucket to Grisha, he's a little one.” But Masha's plans do not include sharing with the boy. Yes, why should she give to someone your bucket - the most expensive, the most valuable thing she has at the moment. Masha with a prayer looks at her mom: "You, mom, don't give your lipstick to another aunt, and dad won't give her typewriter to another uncle even to ride for a while."
But how to destroy the foundation of greed, how to teach a child the basics of politeness? To this question, every mother should look for an answer on her own. We have a rule with my daughter: you can play with the toy that you like, but don't take it away from others, Misha will play enough - then take it. So we learn patience. In my turn, I leave for my daughter the right to defend the toy she plays (unless, of course, she belongs to her daughter).
I was bitten by a shark
When my girl was bitten by my daughter, I tried to talk to her mother, because Julia’s act was not something that was punished, the mother didn’t even make any comments to the child. “What is it,” Yulia’s mother was surprised, “all the children bite. Yulia also was bitten by Sveta.” Frankly, at that moment I didn’t care much when and who had bitten Yulia. Children should not bite. This is my tough position. Especially up to the blood, taking into account any semi-studied and incurable diseases.
What to do in this situation? All parents must unite - biting the child is unacceptable. Kusak needs to be brought up, this habit needs to be fought together, right down to the ultimatum. If a child bites, it means he is a dog, and he does not have a place on the playground, but on the playground for dogs. As, however, by the dogs themselves, which some walk at playgrounds.
On the playground is not worth it.
- Criticize other moms or their children, climb with their own tips. Brilliantly said, I'm sorry not for me: "Do not teach me how to live, better help financially." Before asking any question, count to five. Maybe you change your mind. If the child is dressed easier than usual, most likely he is hardened. She and her mom will figure out whether they are cold or not. If the right shoe was on the left foot, it is possible that "it should be so."
- Come to the playground with a sleeping baby and ask others to be quieter. Where else to run and shout to the babies, if not here. It is unlikely that a child will fall asleep in such "silence". Of course, if you have several children, you don’t have to choose.
- Treat other children even the most innocent foods without the knowledge of their parents. "She stretched out the pens, I thought she asked, and gave." Any kid wonders what they give there. But this does not mean that the parents give the child that.
- Do not embed in life all he heard tips. Indeed, the playground is an ideal place to share experiences. There are master classes on cleaning the ears, holding spoons and urinary incontinence. But, what suits the other baby, you can not help or harm.
- If the baby can not climb or get out of the sandbox, if he fell (slightly), before rushing to help him, look at the reaction of the parents. Maybe parents offer the child to cope with minor difficulties.
- Do not throw garbage anywhere. Children are much more observant than you think, especially smart. How then to explain to the child, why not throw garbage, because aunt throws anywhere.
- If you cannot determine exactly who is in front of you, a girl or a boy, it’s better to use the magic word “child”. What stereotypes - boys - in blue, girls - in pink? Of all the colors, my daughter is best suited to blue, which naturally influenced the selection of clothes.
On the playground is welcome.
- Greet and smile.
- Mutual assistance - do not hesitate, if you see that a nuisance has happened, offer your help to the mother or the child. Often moms are just too shy to ask for it. Most often outside you may need diapers, raw water (for washing hands), boiled water in a bottle (pour to drink), adhesive plaster.
I take care of myself and I take care of my child
When parents come to me with such children complaining about them and criticizing their children, I understand that now I have a long and painstaking work with their parents to explain, tell and most importantly teach them, so that then this all firmly entered their lives . How to talk with their children, so that they can hear them and how the most important thing is to learn to hear and listen to your dearest and beloved child.
Today an article about what I saw a couple of hours ago, about what I see every day.
Walking with children, I often see parents and meaningful adults scolding their children for soiled clothes, as a result, children become nervous, fearful, but remain clean. Is it worth wearing clean clothes? Are you ready to pay such a price?
My children sit in a beautiful pink sundress in the mud, they often walk through puddles, sometimes even sandals, play with water in a fountain and as a result are wet from head to toe, and I, too, if at this moment I provide them with security and hold hands, even the children fill their pockets with stones and collect sticks.
I always have spare clothes for babies with me, because I take care of myself and I take care of my child. When all this happens - I am calm, I know that the child will play enough, get pleasure, will satisfy his interest in the knowledge and discovery of everything new and this world.
Unfortunately, in clean clothes, even with a million developing toys, the world is difficult to learn, and you need an impulse, protest and aggression of a child to resist a parent and still get into such an alluring and interesting pool.
We all come from childhood, let's not forget it! I am for a happy, calm and interesting childhood for my children. And you?published by econet.ru.
If you have any questions, ask them.here
Children on the playground: little greedy
“I was tortured with my Grishka,” complains Marina, the mother of a naughty burly girl. - As he sees that another child took his toy, he immediately runs up and takes it away, but with a screech, with his fists. And others sovochki, cars enough without demand and willingly. As a result, each walk turns into anguish. I follow him, watch, endlessly apologize. There are no forces anymore. ”
Why are the children on the court so often in conflict? Kids live feelings and desires. Until a certain age, they are not able to control their behavior and control emotions. And they react to any vital collision intuitively, in accordance with their personal temperament. One silently retreats, holding a grudge, the other rushes to his mom, and the third, without hesitation, throws himself into a fight. The task of parents - to teach the crumb to defend their own rights, without prejudice to the interests of others.
Let's go back to little Grisha. Marina needs to understand that her son has the right to give or not to give his things to someone. You can try to negotiate by dividing the toys into two groups: those that the boy is ready to “rent” to the children at the site, and those that are especially valuable to him and are expensive. The latter simply do not take it for a walk, leave it at home. Grisha, because of his small years, still does not understand that the other child takes the toy for a while, and does not take it away forever. This fact, so obvious to us adults, is also worth explaining to the kid.
And the last moment: explain to the crumb that someone else can not be taken without asking. For this, it is necessary at first to approach the owner of the toy with him and ask: “Masha, can we play with your cookie cutters? Kohl, please give us a bike ride. " Children are little monkeys, they love to repeat everything after adults, and soon they will learn to ask for permission.
“Greed” and “ugly” are words from the parents' vocabulary. For a child of one and a half years, they are incomprehensible. Children on the court begin to clash, because at this age only the concept of "mine" is formed, and the "alien" does not exist at all. And before you learn to share, you need to have the concept of “your own” in the picture of the world. Imagine a situation where a neighbor comes to you and asks for your car to go fishing. And you can not refuse him, because "ugly" and "uncomfortable." Do you want the child to always give what he needs? Hardly.
It is better to assume that the son or daughter is not obliged to give his toy, but can share it, if, of course, there is a desire. Tell your child that if he shares, then the other baby will be happy, and it’s very nice to bring joy to others. You can show how to play one toy together. Explain why it’s difficult to be friends with greedy people. So children on the site will be less cursing.
And every time a child grabs someone else's toy, calmly repeat to him that he must first ask for permission. Asking is a very necessary skill. If it does not form in childhood, it will be extremely difficult for an adult to learn how to ask for help, for attention.
Children on the court: negotiations or a fight?
“My Tanya does not know how to stand up for herself,” sighs Anna. - A couple of minutes after going out into the yard, all her toys are being taken away by "friends." But she only stands and cries. ”
If your child plays the role of the injured party all the time, teach him to defend his interests among the children on the playground. But not by force, but through negotiation and cooperation. Take the crumb by the hand, bring it to someone from the person who appropriated her toy. Say: "Lisa, you took our shovel, and can we ride your stroller"? Or offer a general game, for example, to build a house for a bunny.
But the way out, which was found by young mother Inna: “When other children on the playground began to push my Temka, not letting him slide down the hill, I just got up near the steps, pretended to help everyone climb, I insure. And the conflict was instantly extinguished. ” The decision, by the way, is very true. In the presence of an adult, the kids immediately begin to behave calmer and now the children on the playground behave calmer. If someone offends your child, be sure to show that you support it as much as possible and always protect it. Gradually, he will begin to copy your behavior and learn how to solve controversial moments calmly, without loss and battle.
But is it possible to use force when a pail with a foot is put on your head, the question is very individual, and each family finds its answer to it. Someone considers the physical impact unacceptable under any circumstances, and someone believes that the abuser should be given change. In any case, it is necessary to develop clear rules.
If you see that the child does not cope with the situation, help him resolve it. At this point, you should be a benchmark, an example to follow. Children on the playground learn from you to control their emotions, to remain polite and calm. Well, if the mother of the offender connects and convinces him to return the toy. It is also important that your child understands: if the toy is his, no one has the right to take it away.
Children on the playground: winged swings
“Irishka loves to swing on a swing very much,” says her mother, Anna. “I wouldn’t mind, but if the daughter occupied them, you won’t pull her off!”
Try next time, before leaving the house, explain that swings, slides, sandboxes are installed for all children on the court. Consequently, the time of their use is limited. Say: “We will shake with you for 10 minutes, and then we will go downhill, okay?”
But what if, on the contrary, you are waiting for your turn, and some stubborn little tot does not think to release the swing? Provide children with the opportunity to resolve their conflicts themselves, to enter into negotiations with another child or to contact his parents?
Of course, it is better not to intervene, otherwise the kid will never learn how to effectively interact with the children on the playground. But if you see that a conflict is brewing, and the sides of it look at each other, then your weighty word becomes necessary. Однако постарайтесь сначала разобраться с самими малышами: «Пожалуйста, уступи нам качели. Пока мы качаемся, можешь взять наш самокат». Такое предложение наверняка сработает. Обращаться в «вышестоящие инстанции» — к родителям чужого ребенка — стоит только в крайних случаях. Потому что правила воспитания, принятые в той или иной семье, — дело очень личное.You do not like it when someone outsider makes a remark to you in the presence of a child?
The baby still does not understand how to act in a difficult situation, and the support of the mother is very important to him. So give her a hug, say that he is a good fellow. But his actions and the actions of others are not always true. Solve the problem together. Do not do everything for the child, but just tell me how to behave with other children on the playground.
Kids on the playground: important rules
Your reaction to the conflict should not be violent and different, depending on your mood. Teach your child to control aggression and treat other people as he would like them to treat him. You suggest a way out, the baby continues to act on its own. Intervene only as a last resort. Ideally, children on the court should solve conflicts on their own. Make the basic rules and fix them.
- Do not want - do not share. But then do not take someone else yourself.
- Before taking someone else's toy, ask permission from the owner.
- Your thing must be returned to you, but you must return someone else as well.
- You can not take anything from anyone by force, including you.
- Do not start a fight first. Always try to explain your desires and feelings with words, resolve the dispute peacefully.
Gradually, both you and the baby will have their own social circle, pleasant for you, and joint walks will bring only joy, and your children will play fun on the playground. Get new friends on the playground is not at all difficult!
Kids on the playground: a good example
- From about 2 years old, the child begins to actively check what can and cannot be done. During this period, it is necessary to clearly and clearly let him know what behavior is unacceptable.
- It is not enough to say that fighting is bad, you need to explain exactly how to act in a given situation. If you can not hit another in the heat of anger, then what can you do?
- Remember: if someone in the family is accustomed to using force and shouting to solve conflicts, it is useless to demand different behavior from the crumbs.
- Does the child fight constantly? Consult with a family psychologist. Stress or strong internal stress often turns into flashes of aggression.
Text: Evgenia Keda, consultant - Marianna Kiseleva, child psychologist
- when the child does not want to share toys
If a child does not want to give his toys to other children, then this is perfectly normal, as he has the right to dispose of them, as he sees fit. Parents should understand that a baby can feel deeply offended if another child takes a thing that belongs to him, because toys are just as valuable to him as personal things are to us. Small children will find it difficult to understand the request of a mom or dad to share, until they overcome the “selfish” age. Having matured and having learned to be friends, the child will cease to worry that someone can take and not give up his favorite thing. So have patience and try not to put pressure on him, forcing him to be generous. There is no universal council for teaching a child how to share. You can only contribute to this by taking the kids in the general interesting thing, when it will not matter who plays what.
According to psychologists, the toy is the first property of the child, which he should appreciate and take care of. One of the leading toy experts, the psychologist Antonina Tsitsulina, president of the Association of Children's Goods Enterprises, shares her thoughts on this account.
- when a child fights and takes away toys from other children
If games with peers most often end in a fight, then such relations should not be encouraged. Explain to the child that any disagreement can be resolved peacefully. That other children should be treated kindly: the way he would like them to treat him. Show your child a concrete example of what a compromise is by finding a way out of a conflict situation with the help of words and beliefs. For example, if the neighbor boy did not want to share his toys, it’s not at all necessary to fight him, invite him to play with your ball. If the girl does not want to give in to the swing, talk to her, explaining that the swing is for all children, and she will be able to sway on them again after your child sways. Often, the presence of one of the parents near an emerging conflict is enough to resolve it by itself, since most children do not dare to behave badly in the presence of an adult.
Tell the child that you should not take other people's things without the permission of their owner. If your baby takes away toys from other children, explain to him that doing so is not good. Give an example of a situation where his toys would be taken from him - he would hardly like it.
Recommendations to parents: so that your baby remembers these rules faster, practice them with him. Come with your child to his peer and ask: “Yura, can we take your machine for a while? And we will give you a ride on our bike! ”. When returning the toy to the owner, do not forget to say “Thank you”. Children tend to copy the behavior of adults, and soon your child will learn to ask and thank other children.
- when a child is offended on the playground
If a child on the playground always acts as an injured party (children take toys away from him or offend him), parents should tell him how to stand up for yourself. Teach him not to be silent, but to communicate with your offenders. Let him express his displeasure, but not with his fists and cry, but with a calm and polite tone. To the child quickly learned the rules of behavior, play the possible situations with him at home. To do this, parents can play the role of an offender, acting out various options for the development of the situation and explaining to the child what he can do in this or that case.
Help your child get out of a difficult situation, but do not do everything for him. Otherwise, he will not learn to independently interact with other children. Praise and encourage the child for the correct behavior, do not scold for mistakes, and together disassemble and discuss them - let him understand that you are on his side and are always ready to help.
The mood of young children depends largely on the emotional state of the adults around them. Parents will learn how to reduce the level of anxiety in a child aged three to six years and teach him how to manage his own emotions by watching a video tutorial with the participation of psychologist Anastasia Sitnikova, an expert of the “I-parent” portal.
Our website for parents offers you to take a small test and learn about the features of your parenting style, as well as what alternative methods of parenting exist.
Until the XIX century in Europe there were no institutions that would be engaged in the organization of a special space for children's games and leisure. The children were left to their own devices, improvised objects and household waste were used as games . As pedagogy, psychology and culture developed, the first kindergartens began to appear. Presumably, then began to appear and playgrounds. One of the first mentions of playgrounds in world history is the painting by artist Jacques-Laurent Agas “Playground”.
In 1910, the first article appeared in the newspapers of St. Petersburg about the playground, opened on the Petrograd side by representatives of the monarchy, where “the children were treated to tea and cakes” .
At the beginning of the 20th century in Moscow, under the direction of the teacher S. T. Shatsky, the public movement “Setlement” functioned (later it was renamed “Child labor and rest”), consisting of representatives of the capital intelligentsia (architects, musicians, teachers, etc.) [3 ]. It was engaged in the organization of children's leisure: playgrounds, clubs, workshops and training courses. In 1915, the society received a subsidy from the Ministry of Public Education.
The Tula teacher GK Remizov was also engaged in the question of the leisure of Moscow children. Since 1909, thanks to his initiative in the capital's parks, they began to conduct children's games on a massive scale: “Wolves and Sheep”, “Geese and Wolves”, “The Third Extra” and others. By 1912 there were 24 playgrounds in Moscow .
Under Soviet rule, the number of playgrounds increased significantly, which is associated with the development of the entire state system of kindergartens. At the moment, the Soviet sites are preserved in many Russian cities. In the Russian-speaking segment of the Internet, popular collections of photographs of “frightening” sculptural compositions from Soviet playgrounds, collected throughout Russia .
In 2012, the State program of the city of Moscow “Housing” was launched in Moscow, under which it was planned to improve the surrounding areas, including the modernization of children's playgrounds . Also since the fall of 2012, the state of the playgrounds (quality and timing of work) has been controlled by local governments .
In 2015, during the improvement month in Moscow, more than 12,000 playgrounds were repaired .
Currently, city administrations in many countries of the world attract architectural and design bureaus to the design and installation of playgrounds. Various specialists participate in the work on the projects of playgrounds: designers, architects, teachers, artists, engineers and carpenters .
An example of such a project in Russia is a playground in the Moscow Gorky Park, performed by the Danish bureau Monstrum. In the center of the composition is a sinking liner, which sinks a giant octopus to the bottom. The site is equipped with sports elements such as children's slides and a climbing net for climbing .